too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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