what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
