i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
