three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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