Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
