About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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