I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
