What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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