i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
