At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
