i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
