I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
