Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
