Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
