I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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