you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
