:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
