wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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