I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
