The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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