We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
