As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
