ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
