Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
