i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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