remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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