No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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