I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The best revenge is premature balding
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
