I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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