Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
