So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
