You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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