Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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