last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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