And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
