Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize