So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
