apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
