I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Every concussion has its silver lining
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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