Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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