I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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