When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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