kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
