i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
