i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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