weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
