Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
