woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize