I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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