She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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