Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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