Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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