with your own penis?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize