He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
