As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
