kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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