She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
what the fuck happened to the tacos
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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