girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize