omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
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