there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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