Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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