I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize