i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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