going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
