oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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