fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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